Power Rankings: Women of Curb Edition

BARE MIDRIFF DIVISION

12. VANKIRK'S BRONSON (1-6)

11. DR. KENNETH NOISEWATER (1-6)

These teams are unbearable to watch.

Bam Bam Funkhouser Division

10. SPRINGSTEEN GROUPIES (2-5)

9. SHOW ME YOUR TD'S (2-5)
8. WOLF PACKERS (2-5)

Just a trainwreck, but not all is lost.


LORETTA BLACK DIVISION
7. BAXTER BEASTS (4-3)
6. IRISH BULLDAWGS (4-3)

Still potential for great success, but might need to get out before the bad news hits.

Denise Handicapped Division

5. Orton Hears a Who (5-2)
4. Old Brigade (5-1-1)

Still some disabilities, but starting to figure out all the positives.


Cheryl David Division


3. Achilles's Boys (5-2)
2. Irish Pride (5-1-1)
1. Aikman's Arsenal (5-2)

It's good to be back!

Comments, thoughts, complaints, cuss words? Let us know how you feel below.

The Guru's Locks of the Week (SEC Edition)

While we wait on the Gridiron Gurus to select their keepers, we have asked the Guru to look into his NCAA crystal ball and give us the outcome for the 2011 season:

SEC WEST

(1) LSU--Just at the right place at the right time, enough experienced talent in the inexperienced but talented SEC West, and they have the right schedule.

(2) Auburn--Repeat to ATL is attainable, but this year AU travels to the SEC Champ roadblock, Baton Rouge. Coaching and defense gets it done this year for the Real Tigers.

(3) Alabama--Lost 3 best players on offense, but while they have enough talent in the tank to make a run at ATL, they just don't have the right players at the right positions to make this dream a reality.

(4) Arkansas--Key talent at key positions, but the defense is not strong enough to compete for a SEC West title.

(5) Mississippi State--Typical season in the SEC West with the Mississippi teams at the bottom.

(6) Ole Miss--Ditto.

SEC EAST


(1) UGA--Aaron Murray is just too damn good in a wide open East. UGA rights the ship in 2011.

(2) Tennessee--Dooley has his team heading for glory in the near future, just not enough eggs to put in the SEC Champ basket quite yet.

(3) South Carolina--Two extremely dynamic players on offense in Lattimore and Alshan, but Garcia will fox it up and the defense remains a weak area.

(4) Florida--Will Muschamp wishes he was back in the beautiful Texas Hill Country.

(5) Kentucky--Just don't have it to compete.

(6) Vanderbilt--Great baseball team.

SEC AWARDS

SEC Off. POY--Aarron Muray (UGA) (Best QB in nation)


SEC Def. POY--Barkevious Mingo (LSU)

SEC Freshman of the Year--Trevon Reed (AU)

SEC COY--Derek Dooley (Tenn)

SEC CG -- LSU 24, UGA 21

BCS Champ--No SEC team will finish undefeated. Old Big 12 rivals Texas and Nebraska, who benefits from a weak Big 10, meet in the BCS Championship, with Texas coming out on top 31-27.


Please direct all comments, complaints, cusswords in the comment box below. The Guru will answer you at his convenience if you are so lucky.

Game of the Week

Week 2:
Vankirk's Bronson (1-0) vs. Irish Bulldawgs (1-0)

TV: Tape Delayed on BravoTV. Tues, Sept. 22 at 2:30am et.
Location: Auburn, AL
Line:

The Gurus couldn't ask for a better opening week game between the league's last two champions. Coach Hegarty had to hand over the trophy in July to Coach Wilson and now will have to watch the banner be raised tonight in Greensboro, NC. ESPN has projected both teams to have the highest point total, but for the defending champs to start the year off right with a 117-114 victory.

QUARTERBACK:
Tony Romo vs. Tom Brady
Edge: Wolf Packers
We have a feeling that Tom Brady just might be a little pumped up to get back on the football field. Tony Romo is probably happy to not have #81 and Mrs. Colt Brennan to deal with this season. Brady will have a monster game on Monday Night Football, Arsenal just has to hope he is throwing it to his #81.

RUNNING BACKS:
Michael Turner and Mike Bell vs. DeAngelo Williams and Julius Jones
Edge: Push
The outcome of this match-up will probably be decided by who wins the running back battles. Interestingly, both coaches have benched big time studs in Chris Johnson (@Pit) and Ryan Grant (vs. CHI). Will Julius (vs. STL) or Bell (vs. DET) have the bigger game against the weaker opponent.

WIDE RECEIVERS:
Randy Moss, Larry Fitzgerald and Andre Johnson vs. T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Lance Moore and Eddie Royal
Edge: Aikman's Arsenal
The Arsenal's Big 3 is going to win them a lot of games. Coach Hegarty is hoping for at least 2 of the 3 to have big games each week. Wolf Packers WRs have solid match-ups this week and might play close to the Arsenal's trio.

TIGHT END:
Anthony Fasano vs. John Carlson
Edge: Wolf Packers
A slight edge goes to the Wolf Packers. If either TE can catch a ball in the endzone, it could shift the W/L column.

KICKER:
Mason Crosby vs. Rob Bironas
Edge: Push
Both kickers could have some opportunity with their respective teams playing stout defenses (Bears and Steelers).

DEFENSE:
Chargers vs. Giants
Edge: Aikman's Arsenal
Slight edge to the Arsenal's defense. Both team will be going up against average QBs in JaMarcus Russell and Jason Campbell. It's the Raiders though.

PREDICTION:
BravoTV has to pleased to televise this game and this match could reach up to 7 households this week. We expect both teams to reach triple digits in week 1, but we think the Wolf Packers have one too many Seahawks in their starting lineup.

ARSENAL 116, Wolf Packers 105

The Other Game
(Tape Delayed on BravoTV Wed nights at 5:00am et)

Irish Pride vs. Old Brigade

Prediction: Brigade 85, Pride 78